how did i get into singing?

Have I ever told you how I came to be part of the music ministry at CCF?

Let me back track… As a child I grew up with music. All my three elder brothers are into music. They have their own favorite genres. I remember our eldest was into Jazz, the second into oldies and the third into rock. But they all can listen to any type of music you make them hear. I remember we used to have CDs that range from the classical Beethoven collection to the underground alternative music.

Once during one of our occasional family day where we all go out as a family to eat lunch somewhere and shop (or window shop), I remember Kuya Alex (our eldest) nudging me to ask Papa to buy me a cassette tape. (Okay, I was really young at the time, cassette tapes were the rage, not yet CDs nor MP3s.) Guess what record he’s asking? I will not forget, it’s the Wilson Philips album where they recorded the song “Hold On” and “You’re in Love.” I think Papa was surprised that I was asking for such an album but I was the only little girl in the family and he can’t say no to me at the time. *wink* In short, my Kuya got what he wanted.

The thing is when you grow up in a household where the stereo is always blazing with whatever cassette tape was playing, you’d one way or another be in tuned with music too. Even my father is into music. He sings! He has the voice like that of Jose Mari Chan. Or at least that’s what I always thought since he always sings Chan’s songs. He’s very popular during his corporate parties. They always ask him to sing. So his cassette tape collection consisted of minus one.

I used to sing with him too. I mean I sing along whenever he sings. But most of the time, it’s during one of the rides in our car. Remember, I almost always got the passenger seat. J But I was a very shy little girl so I don’t sing in front of other people. Once during one of our new year’s eve celebration slash family reunion in the house of one of my relatives in Quezon City, they asked Papa to sing. Then they called me and asked me to sing along with my dad. And we did, though I did so reluctantly, I did sing a few lines of the song “Sing me a song again Daddy” before I pushed away the microphone and hid behind my mom’s skirt. I remember some of my tito and tita saying I should have finished the duet with Papa but my shyness over took the moment. Then they said I should take a voice lesson…

Oh, I could go on forever with these memories, I should stop myself! J But the gist of my trip down the memory lane is that I grew to love music and singing. One of my brothers plays the guitar very well and I remember sometimes he’d ask me to sing while he play. I just remember one song that he used to play really well and I used to sing really well (ows, really well?)… It’s called “Paglisan.” Who sang that? The band where Cookie Chua sings, I think.

Back when I was still attending the Sunday masses of the Catholic Church, I’d dream of being part of the choir that sings during communion. I used to just stare at them and dream of one day being part of the group, but I didn’t do anything about it.

Then when I joined my first Christian Church at GCM (Gospel Church of Manila) eight years ago, I still had that desire to be part of the choir. And I actually did something about it. J So one Sunday, there was an announcement that all those who wanted to join the choir can audition. And that particular Sunday, it was the last day of audition. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know what I will sing when the ministry head asks me to sing but with firm conviction I told myself I’d give it a try. And so I did… after the 12pm service, I bravely approached the lady in charge of the choir (shame on me, I’d forgotten her name already!) and told her I’d like to audition. She then asked me if I had any previous experience or if I took any classes on voice. I told her no. So she simply smiled and said “ok, let’s start.” She sat in front of the keyboard, looked at me and asked me what song I’d like to sing. I quickly browsed through the limited selection of Christian songs in my mind. Then I just settled on my favorite song at the time. I said, “I offer my life.”

So I sang… hahaha… It was my first time singing solo in front of a keyboardist! If nervousness can kill, I’d be long dead and buried. Hehehe! Of course I did not make it. J The lady told me I hit most of the notes but “most” is not enough. I should be able to hit “all” the notes. But she told me to practice and come back the following Sunday to audition again. To make the long story short, I went back the following Sunday only to attend the Service but auditioning was ejected from my mind.

Then came last year… As what I’ve been telling 2007 was so far the greatest year of my life. This was the year I first joined CCF. The first retreat I joined at was the “One Way Singles Retreat.” This was where I met Jheny Yap. She made my dream come true in joining the music ministry.

During one of our free time in the retreat, I was in the room assigned to Jheny and her room mates. One of her room mates was Jojie Kho. She was the first person I got to know in that retreat. I actually joined that retreat all by myself, without knowing anyone. So during the bus ride, I sat beside Jojie, who was also joining the retreat all by herself. In short, God put us two together since we were both alone and new to CCF. Therefore, it was thru Jojie that I was introduced to Jheny.

So back to that free time in their room, all three of us (me, Jheny and Jojie) were with Jen King and Edith Cajigas. Somehow the conversation turned into singing. I told everyone I was a frustrated singer. Unashamedly, I told them I wanted to join the choir. Then Jheny said she wanted to join too and she asked me why not join together. I got excited and immediately said “yes!” Partly I didn’t believe that it was true but I did want to join anyway and I wasn’t lying anyway when I told her yes so we left the conversation at that thought.

Now, after the retreat, we arrived at CCF just in time for the 3pm service to end. So the prompters were already singing the response song. Then Jheny pointed at someone at the stage and said, “Ate ko yun.” Then she went on to say she’d ask her sister, Ate Grace, on how we can both join the music ministry.

The rest, as they say, is history. So I became part of the Filipino Music Ministry.

Now looking back, I realize that when God put a desire in your heart to serve, he will equip you with the talent or the skill so you can join the ministry where you are most comfortable serving God with. I know I am not an amazing singer. I am mediocre at best. But it has long been my desire to sing for him so every Sunday that I sing for the Lord, I know he is singing through me and is using me for this own purposes. Even if I can’t sing as good during videoke session with friends, even if I get laughed at whenever an old friend would find out that I am now part of the choir, or even if some people tell me point blank that I don’t sing very well, I don’t care. As long as I am not yet kicked out of the music ministry, I know I can sing beautifully for the lover of my soul, because He is the one equipping me each time. And last, I know it doesn’t matter to Him if I don’t sing like an angel because you know what? The most important thing for Him is to know that I am willing to give Him my time. Everything on earth belongs to Him already. All I have to offer is actually just that – my time.

Every note that escapes my lips is a talent borrowed from God. Because of his grace and faithfulness, he allowed me to part of this ministry. And I just give all the glory and praises to him for even allowing me to sing.

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us.
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.”
- Psalm 115:1