There is always a good side to every story. The situation that me and my family are in right now, no matter how dim it is, still have some good and light side to it.
I am a firm believer that my Lord and savior knows exactly what He is doing and no matter how hard it is to accept His ways, I will just gladly relent and see how his magnificence will manifest itself.
If anything, this situation just ushered me in closer to the lover of my soul. From Day 1, I've been crying out to Him to give me strength to go through this. And my faith in Him never wavered. Even when the doc was telling me point blank that I may lose my mom in the next few hours, my heart was grieving but my mind is begging God to give me strength.
This ordeal made me realize that I have so much blessing in my life and first of, it is to know that my family, though we are no longer living in one house and though I actually belong to
the "broken family" category, we are all together through thick or thin. After I woke up my younger brother on Saturday morning, I immediately called my 2nd elder brother. I just had to tell him the words mama and Makati Med and he said he'll meet me there. Sure enough he was there just a few minutes after we arrived. Then looks like he immediately informed my third brother, who is now living in Quezon and he decided to travel to Manila to be with Mama. When the doc was telling me Mama's bleak future, I called my Papa in US and later on my eldest brother called up as well.
I love the family I am in, regardless of everyone's iniquities. We are not very open emotionally with each other but in times like this, even without words, I can feel each one's overflowing love and concern with each other.
That is blessing #1 amidst this storm: My broken but intact family
Next on my list are the people around me. I again realized that I am very much loved and cared for by my friends and officemates and church mates. All I had to do is send a message and immediately there are people who takes the time to text back, some even called and cried with me on the phone and those that took the time to travel all the way to Makati just to be with me and to pray with me.
Thanks to friends (Mimi, Dgroup sisters, Cicelle, Mher, Ayie, Pen) who brought me food; thanks to Eric and Ry who did not bring me food but made sure I had a dinner before they left on Sunday-we all went to Tokyo Tokyo to eat; thanks to Ate Rona who sent a fruit and flower basket in behalf of CCF; thanks to those who went to Makati Med but I did not see because I was at home (B1, Kuya Lawrence, Coney, Cathy's parents); thanks to my friends abroad who still took the time to text me and let me know they are praying for Mama (my PnB friends) and thanks to Ry who obliged himself to be with me even through text the night I was all alone taking care of Mama...
There were a lot of people to thank for and I may not be able to list everyone's good deed to me here in this blog, but you are all in my heart and I pray to my Father in heaven that He will
just bless you more.
Kuya Jomar visited me on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday, I lost track of time already). Thank you for taking the time off work to come see me and we had a lengthy conversation, I was filling him with the nightmare I am in and also telling him the Lord's goodness in me during this time. Jokingly I told him that the reason I texted almost eveyone in my phone book on Saturday is because, I remember a saying that says "The prayers of a righteous person avail much..." (The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. - James 5:16) So I was thinking, there must be at least one righteous person out of the 100 who pledged to pray for my mom :)
That was blessing#2: Friends
I felt the Lord working in me. Day 1, though my strength is in Him, I was crying heavily. Those who visited on the first day saw my eyes really puffy and red and I hardly ate anything. Whenever Mama's BP will shoot up to 200/100 or so, I was immediately at her side, begging God not to take her away yet.
Even on the 2nd day, when Mama again had an high BP attack, I was crying. Especially when the doctors asked me to decide whethere I wanted to sign a DNR (Do not resuscitate) or if I
authorize them to revive Mama if her vital stats go down to zero.
But on the third day, I was calm and composed, as Mama had another one of those attacks. The prayers of my dgroup sisters and FMM family when they visited on the first two days are
already working. My eyes are now dry and my mind has blocked off the unlikely sight of losing Mama. I was confident then that she will make it. The big progress in her condition assured me that my Lord is working. I just needed to trust completely and be still.
My third blessing is the time in my hands to commune with the lover of my soul. And it's fitting too, since it's the holy week. A perfect time to reminisce on the Lord's faitfulness.
On the nights that I was inside Mama's room at MICU15, my bible is my companion. I chose to read the book of Job and I got the comfort I needed that God has a grand plan for everything. I flipped through Psalm 91 and was reassured that if we love the Lord, He will rescue us and be with us and will protect us. I scanned through the pentateuch (the first five books) and I just marveled on God's sovereignty and finally, I read through Joshua's book and read this:
I am a firm believer that my Lord and savior knows exactly what He is doing and no matter how hard it is to accept His ways, I will just gladly relent and see how his magnificence will manifest itself.
If anything, this situation just ushered me in closer to the lover of my soul. From Day 1, I've been crying out to Him to give me strength to go through this. And my faith in Him never wavered. Even when the doc was telling me point blank that I may lose my mom in the next few hours, my heart was grieving but my mind is begging God to give me strength.
This ordeal made me realize that I have so much blessing in my life and first of, it is to know that my family, though we are no longer living in one house and though I actually belong to
the "broken family" category, we are all together through thick or thin. After I woke up my younger brother on Saturday morning, I immediately called my 2nd elder brother. I just had to tell him the words mama and Makati Med and he said he'll meet me there. Sure enough he was there just a few minutes after we arrived. Then looks like he immediately informed my third brother, who is now living in Quezon and he decided to travel to Manila to be with Mama. When the doc was telling me Mama's bleak future, I called my Papa in US and later on my eldest brother called up as well.
I love the family I am in, regardless of everyone's iniquities. We are not very open emotionally with each other but in times like this, even without words, I can feel each one's overflowing love and concern with each other.
That is blessing #1 amidst this storm: My broken but intact family
Next on my list are the people around me. I again realized that I am very much loved and cared for by my friends and officemates and church mates. All I had to do is send a message and immediately there are people who takes the time to text back, some even called and cried with me on the phone and those that took the time to travel all the way to Makati just to be with me and to pray with me.
Thanks to friends (Mimi, Dgroup sisters, Cicelle, Mher, Ayie, Pen) who brought me food; thanks to Eric and Ry who did not bring me food but made sure I had a dinner before they left on Sunday-we all went to Tokyo Tokyo to eat; thanks to Ate Rona who sent a fruit and flower basket in behalf of CCF; thanks to those who went to Makati Med but I did not see because I was at home (B1, Kuya Lawrence, Coney, Cathy's parents); thanks to my friends abroad who still took the time to text me and let me know they are praying for Mama (my PnB friends) and thanks to Ry who obliged himself to be with me even through text the night I was all alone taking care of Mama...
There were a lot of people to thank for and I may not be able to list everyone's good deed to me here in this blog, but you are all in my heart and I pray to my Father in heaven that He will
just bless you more.
Kuya Jomar visited me on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday, I lost track of time already). Thank you for taking the time off work to come see me and we had a lengthy conversation, I was filling him with the nightmare I am in and also telling him the Lord's goodness in me during this time. Jokingly I told him that the reason I texted almost eveyone in my phone book on Saturday is because, I remember a saying that says "The prayers of a righteous person avail much..." (The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. - James 5:16) So I was thinking, there must be at least one righteous person out of the 100 who pledged to pray for my mom :)
That was blessing#2: Friends
I felt the Lord working in me. Day 1, though my strength is in Him, I was crying heavily. Those who visited on the first day saw my eyes really puffy and red and I hardly ate anything. Whenever Mama's BP will shoot up to 200/100 or so, I was immediately at her side, begging God not to take her away yet.
Even on the 2nd day, when Mama again had an high BP attack, I was crying. Especially when the doctors asked me to decide whethere I wanted to sign a DNR (Do not resuscitate) or if I
authorize them to revive Mama if her vital stats go down to zero.
But on the third day, I was calm and composed, as Mama had another one of those attacks. The prayers of my dgroup sisters and FMM family when they visited on the first two days are
already working. My eyes are now dry and my mind has blocked off the unlikely sight of losing Mama. I was confident then that she will make it. The big progress in her condition assured me that my Lord is working. I just needed to trust completely and be still.
My third blessing is the time in my hands to commune with the lover of my soul. And it's fitting too, since it's the holy week. A perfect time to reminisce on the Lord's faitfulness.
On the nights that I was inside Mama's room at MICU15, my bible is my companion. I chose to read the book of Job and I got the comfort I needed that God has a grand plan for everything. I flipped through Psalm 91 and was reassured that if we love the Lord, He will rescue us and be with us and will protect us. I scanned through the pentateuch (the first five books) and I just marveled on God's sovereignty and finally, I read through Joshua's book and read this:
"Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed;
every one was fulfilled."
-Joshua 21:45
every one was fulfilled."
-Joshua 21:45
It was just comforting to know that I am serving a God who is faithful in fulfilling His promises.
The last blessing I will list today, though really I have so much more, is the gift of hope. Today as I stayed home to relax and reflect this Good Friday, I read a very inspiring message from Francis Kong's website, where he said "The empty tomb is the great message of hope. Death has been conquered and when faith is place on the death Conqueror then life is found. Resurrection Sunday reminds us that God has the last word. So don’t give up hope."
Today I am reminded that my Lord and savior chose to die on the cross to save us from sins and He will rise up on Easter to be a good news to us all. And knowing that fact alone, dims everything else. Yes, I am begging God to extend Mama's life. Yes, I am holding on to His promises that all I need is to ask and I shall receive. Yes, I am thankful for all the blessings I received. But all those fall to a mere second to the most important thing of all: To worship the lover of my soul.
The last blessing I will list today, though really I have so much more, is the gift of hope. Today as I stayed home to relax and reflect this Good Friday, I read a very inspiring message from Francis Kong's website, where he said "The empty tomb is the great message of hope. Death has been conquered and when faith is place on the death Conqueror then life is found. Resurrection Sunday reminds us that God has the last word. So don’t give up hope."
Today I am reminded that my Lord and savior chose to die on the cross to save us from sins and He will rise up on Easter to be a good news to us all. And knowing that fact alone, dims everything else. Yes, I am begging God to extend Mama's life. Yes, I am holding on to His promises that all I need is to ask and I shall receive. Yes, I am thankful for all the blessings I received. But all those fall to a mere second to the most important thing of all: To worship the lover of my soul.
"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness
of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."
-Philippians 3:8
of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."
-Philippians 3:8
Hi Jels, I just read what happened. Our prayers are with you and your mom. Your mom will be more than a conqueror through Him, who loved her so much. Keep on holding on to His faithfulness. God Bless
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