Q1 2009 in review

Time check... (or day check) It's May 22 and I've been to how many places and gimiks this year? or rather... how many out of town plans have I rejected? Huhuhu... It's just the first quarter of the year and yet I've turned down so many invitations! As I write, the entire HR team, Ms My and Francis and even Daddy Rafael is relaxing in Cebu! I should have been there too! Yesterday, instead of enjoying an overnight stay at Hacienda de Tolentino in Arayat, Pampanga I had to push myself to the limit and just have a "day tour" instead of overnight so I can be at prompting practice in CCF. Next week, my favorite travel buddies from RFS IT are going on a hike to Mt Pinatubo. Waaaaaa! I. Am. Jealous. Beyond words. :(

There was the Anawangin trip last Feb 14 that I was not able to join to, the Baguio trip I turned down last weekend, the Potipot trip with Mimi and her kids, the Coron plans with Ms My in May... the list seem to go on! List of places I missed and I will miss this year!

Waaaaaaa! I have to admit, I really am a bit sad that I was not able to be part of all these. However, as what I told Ms My earlier at ym, this is a year of humility and discipline to me in terms of my finances. Hayyyy, being disciplined is never easy. But we need that once in a while so we can grow in character.

Actually, the real reason why I am turning down all these, aside from the very obvious reason that I really need to cut down on my expenses is because I am hindering myself from missing out on ministry and my sunday dates with the lover of my soul. Missing the sunday service is now totally out of the question. I guess I was really convicted when we discussed the sabbath in one of our FMM dgroup devotions.

So at the end of the day, I guess after being hit with the initial jealousy attacks that I was not able to be part of a gimik, it is okay. I have my goal to focus on: to grow more in my christian walk. I know some of my friends does not understand this. They just can't figure out why I can't take a rest from ministry and join them. I don't blame them since last year I said yes to wherever they ask me to go to. I wasn't attending ministry at the time, I was okay not attending even the sunday services and I wasn't doing my quiet time.

And look at where it lead me to. I just inflicted hurt upon myself. I was lead to believe lies and even committed sins. It never fails. When I am out of touch with the lover of my soul, I am a disaster waiting to happen. If I could change anything at all in 2008, that was to never miss ministry, never miss on dgroup, never miss on sunday services and most of all, never miss on praying unceasingly.

I just thank the Lord on how faithful He is. He picked me up (again) in the deep pit I was into. Though I have my future before me which is tainted with the stigma of sin and laden with more promises of discipline for my previous wrong doings, I am ready. Even if that would mean less travels for me, less photo-ops, less gimiks... I am ready.

In the recent weeks that I have been studying the bible seriously, I am reminded of my purpose here on earth. It's not about me. It's about Him. I am created for His purpose. My life he owns and so I submit.

Living in this world, that is never easy. I've heard the comments of some of my friends on my firm decision of "absolutely no gimiks in weekends." They've made a big joke out of it too and I think in their minds, I am turning out to be a freak... a Jesus freak. But who cares? I wish they'd just try to meet and get to know the lover of my soul and they'd understand. :)

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire beside you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
- Psalm 73:25-26