It's been a while since my hands and my mind were in sync.. since my mind seem to dictate the keystrokes of my fingers... since my fingers hit each letter with emotion coming from my heart... since my heart run wild and overpowered my mind... since my mind really took on its own course again.
It's been a while.
Does that mean my mind stopped thinking? My heart stopped beating? My emotions stopped feeling? My fingers stopped typing?
No... I just learned to keep it at bay... Learned to live with it... Go with the flow...
However, some things happened again in this world I am living on. In the road that I am traversing on, things go on... Issues of the heart still exist... And my imagination still working traitorously against my will.
A year ago I read the famous passage from one of the best authors I've known. Paolo Coelho and his famous Closing Cycle is exactly what my mind is contemplating about these days. Here, read on. It's been blogged and emailed so many times you've probably read it too. But somehow the words relay a different meaning when you are exactly in the same predicament.
How does one close a vicious cycle?
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Now my question is, how do you end a cycle when you are firmly trapped in it? How do you detach yourself from someone when your eyes fall on his presence almost every day? How do you shut out the memories from coming back when your ears hear almost every sound that comes out of his lips? How can you start the healing process when circumstances happen and you just end up being hurt again, sometimes even more than when the first injury actually hit? How can you just let go and move on when the people around you seem to have a good time reminding you of that very thing you needed to let go? How do you keep the faith when everything else around you crumbles down?
I wish the answer is as easy as what I usually say... "Pray!" But I have to be honest, sometimes it takes an enormous amount of patience and discipline to stand still and look unto the Lord. Sometimes the situation I am in weakens me and strengthens my freaking doubtful mind. Today is one of those days.
It's been a while.
Does that mean my mind stopped thinking? My heart stopped beating? My emotions stopped feeling? My fingers stopped typing?
No... I just learned to keep it at bay... Learned to live with it... Go with the flow...
However, some things happened again in this world I am living on. In the road that I am traversing on, things go on... Issues of the heart still exist... And my imagination still working traitorously against my will.
A year ago I read the famous passage from one of the best authors I've known. Paolo Coelho and his famous Closing Cycle is exactly what my mind is contemplating about these days. Here, read on. It's been blogged and emailed so many times you've probably read it too. But somehow the words relay a different meaning when you are exactly in the same predicament.
How does one close a vicious cycle?
Closing Cycles by Paulo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Now my question is, how do you end a cycle when you are firmly trapped in it? How do you detach yourself from someone when your eyes fall on his presence almost every day? How do you shut out the memories from coming back when your ears hear almost every sound that comes out of his lips? How can you start the healing process when circumstances happen and you just end up being hurt again, sometimes even more than when the first injury actually hit? How can you just let go and move on when the people around you seem to have a good time reminding you of that very thing you needed to let go? How do you keep the faith when everything else around you crumbles down?
I wish the answer is as easy as what I usually say... "Pray!" But I have to be honest, sometimes it takes an enormous amount of patience and discipline to stand still and look unto the Lord. Sometimes the situation I am in weakens me and strengthens my freaking doubtful mind. Today is one of those days.
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still"
- Exodus 14:14
- Exodus 14:14
"Teach me how to be still, my Lord.
That is my only prayer today. Amen."
That is my only prayer today. Amen."
ang lalim naman..
ReplyDeleteyeah it means a lot...very true
ReplyDelete