just be with me today...

I just realized, it's already March 1. The year is already 2008. Just four nights of sleep and I'll wake up adding another year to my existence here on earth.

Where did I spent those 26 years of my life? How did I make use of every second that ticks in my clock? Who did I share my life with? Did I make a difference in one's life? When did I start to really live? If the lover of my soul would look at me today, what will He say? Did someone really love me, have I been worthy of being loved at all?

I am afraid.

I'm not getting younger and yet I don't feel as if the life I've been living actually matters to anyone.

What is happening to me?

Father God, please just be with me today. Draw me close.
Fight with me as I turn these gloomy thoughts away.
I know in my heart that with You in my life, I should be content.
But there is something that is eating me right now.
I've lost the zeal to serve; lost the courage to smile; lost the fire burning inside.
Just be with me today.
Please.