teenage crush

I am just that right now. A grown-up girl with a teenage crush to a tv star, no less! Talk about pathetic!!!

Since Thursday last week, I've been watching the Korean drama coffee prince online. And I just finished this morning. And I just loved every single minute I spent with my eyes glued to the monitor and my legs unknowlingly aching since I hardly moved them once I sat and start watching.

How many asian drama series I've watched so far? Let me count... Meteor Garden (of course, the catalyst that started it all!), Lovers in Paris, Lovers in Prague, A liter of tears... I'm sure there are still others but somehow, these four and the Coffee Prince are the only ones I'm remembering now.

Common to all these series is the light-headed and happy feeling I'd carry with me for a while after I've watched the complete series. But I think this last one will be extra special. Let me tell you why...

As you know already... since I can't seem to stop talking about it, I was in a relationship before that almost made me crazy when it ended last year but thanks to the lover of my soul, I am slowly picking up the pieces and have been living a great life since then. There. Sorry, I had to mention it again! :P

The thing is a lot of things really changed when that happened. There was a time that my eyes can't produce even a single tear even when I was watching Lovers in Prague (there were a lot of tear-jerker scenes there too). Somehow, it is true that something inside you closes up when something special ends. I was a hopeless romantic before who just loves reading romantic novels, watching love stories, listening to love songs... But for a time I stopped and avoided doing those. Why? Because I just can't seem to stop thinking that those happily ever after love stories should have been mine.

But then two things happened last week that again made a change in my life. One, this coffee prince series and two, the movie 27 dresses. I'll try to talk about that movie later.

I just want to share with all of you that watching the korean tv series made me realize that I am finally over my previous relationship. Before whenever I watch these kinds of movies, count on the fact that memories of myself with my ex would just camp in my mind and I would just envision the two of us together doing the things I'm watching on tv (again, pathetic...) then I would go on and cry on the scenes where the words said were almost the same words I heard from him...

But it was really different this time. I hardly thought of him while watching and yes I'm still imagining myself as the leading lady but the leading man is no longer my ex in my mind. It's just who the actor really is, whose character is really to fall in love for...

So like a teenager, I'm in this state right now where I just think everyone deserves to love and to be loved... Past hurts has taken a back seat and I find myself smiling more lately... Pictures of holding hands makes me sigh with hope, not sigh with longing for someone in particlar... Love songs sound different to my ear... Old photos just make me remember the good old days...

It is so great to be alive. To be free from the past. To record new memories. Document new pictures.

It is just so nice to be in love... with love.