misleading perceptions... Reflection #6, 2008

First Impressions are not so true... That is a little cliche. But today, it is so real for me.

Every Thursday at 4pm, we have our Leadership Meeting, where managers and supervisors meet not to discuss performance, stats or other issues but merely to talk about leadership stuff. It's more of a sharing time. My new boss started this last month and we've been fed a lot on thoughts about leadership.

Last week, we started to invite resource speakers to impart more wisdom to the team. We had Barry then and of course he shared some classic thoughts on the subject. This week, we had Rafael, the new VP of Customer Care.

When he first arrived, oh my, the feedback I heard... I just couldn't stop thanking God that I chose the boss who works during the day :) Frankly, I almost did not want to talk to him. I was just intimidated with his strong personality and he's a little perky too.

But today. I heard him speak for the first time and I just have to tell you, first impressions are definitely not so true.

Every word that came out of his mouth is like one brick falling off the barrier of an image I have created of him in my mind. This man is clearly not the strict, haughty man that some of us thought of at first. He is just that - a man. Prone to failures, capable of joking and most of all, he has a heart and therefore can feel.

At the end of the one hour sharing I just really realized that the way you perceive a person is limited to what your mind wanted to think of him/her.

Today I learned the key to really knowing someone is to really get to know the person. Rafael and I did not have a one on one conversation. He gave a speech, I listened. He shared a personal story and I understood him. As simple as that.

I want to quote him. Here are my take-aways from his sharing:

"When you have a dream and you hold it in your heart, it's gonna happen."

"It's not how much you give, but it's how much you give from what you have... and how much you give part of yourself..."

"Be humble all the time, know where you come from."

In a nutshell, here's what I really learned... Perceptions are oftentimes misleading and are therefore a great hindrance to building a relationship.

So the next time you see that someone and somehow you just feel you can't get along with that person for whatever first impressions you've got, take a deep breath and tell yourself "Who am I to judge this person? Clearly, he/she is created by God and therefore worth the effort of knowing."

That goes two ways... The next time you see me or the first time you saw me... What did  you think? What will you think? I might be having a really bad time and therefore might have snapped at you or just completely ignored you but please don't stop there.

I am worth something. We all are.