I've been packing for three days already. I took the day off just to get it over with. It's way past five in the afternoon.. And I'm not halfway done yet!
It's not that I have a lot of stuff to pack. I mean, I'm in charge of my own bedroom only. And I only have one narrow bookshelf, one cabinet, a mattress for a bed (don't even have a bed frame!), an Orocan plastic container for my designer bags (which I conveniently use as my laptop table), an industrial electric fan, and two small makeshift shelves and dozens of shoe boxes stacked against the wall. That's all I'm taking with me and those clothes in the built in dresser in this room.
So what's eating my time?
It's those millions of paper bits stored in my cabinets. Not just papers... Pictures, books, trinkets, pamphlets, and all those stuff that I will just tag as "memories."
I'm not the very organized person you will meet. Though it's not that you'd need a shovel to go through my things in my room because I'm not that messy either. But I have a tendency to hold on to things that means something to me at one time. Yes, sentimental is the right word. I mean, I'm the type of person who keeps the receipt from a restaurant or holds on to that movie ticket or collects grains of sand from the beaches I've been to...
I keep the things, no matter how big or small, that reminds me of something I love, something I like and something I dream of.
I hold on to these. Until such time that I am ready to let go.
Once in a while I do a general clean-up of my stuff. On these rare occasions, I open all drawers, look into all envelopes, browse through each book I have just to look for something I may have kept. Then I decide whether I still want to hold on to it or is it time to let go and put it in a trash.
Today is just like that! The reason I can't finish packing is because I'm going through all my things. Literally. I saw things I've kept since gradeschool! It's a fun process because I usually laugh in times like this. I can't believe how foolish I can be at times whenever I see things that I fancy before but makes me cringe with embarrassment now.
So I am again in a realization that people do change. Just because you loved the color black in your high school years doesn't mean you won't love color pink ten years later. Just because you loved to read romance novels in your college life doesn't mean you will not be loving the non-fiction books years later. Just because you didn't have a cabinet full of stuffed toys in your growing up years doesn't mean you can't have one in your grown up years.
Funny how our preferences change. Our feelings change. Our thoughts change. No one can be a predictable being all their life. You are bound to change one way or another.
But then again, some things do remain the same. :)
Through my rummaging I saw an envelope I previously tagged as "Literary masterpiece"... Haha.. Masterpiece nga ba? I don't think so! Far from it... But these are the words I connected together to form a thought, to convey a message to someone or to simply have a say on anything... Looks like since decades ago I can't seem to stop my brain from thinking, my heart from feeling and my hands from writing...
One sample is the poem I already posted four entries back.
And since I unearthed this envelope of papers with words on it... I might as well post them for the world to see (and laugh at...hehehe). And besides, they are along the lines of what I'm feeling lately...
Go amuse yourself with my works! Most (or all) are really cheesy:D
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