what's in a name?

So it's a typical Tuesday morning, me hitting the keys of my laptop before anything else and so I started chatting with whoever is online. Carl is one of those online people so we were chatting and suddenly the topic on nicknames came up. Apparently back home he has a very different nickname from his real name.  As in ang layo, ni isang letter yata walang parehas! hehehe.

It made me think about my own name. Jeliene. Seriously, when you first saw how it's spelled, how did you read it? I've been called by so many different ways that sometimes I'm even confused myself on how it should be read!

So let me tell you a story about my name...

According to mama, when she found out she's having a baby girl, finally after three rowdy boys, she started choosing for names fitting for the much awaited princess (ok, fine so dinagdag ko lang yan about being a princess! :P) She said at the end, she had her final three... Hehehe, let me share with you what those names are... One is a fairly common name, "Abigial", (buti na lang not this one, kundi kapangalan ko yun ate nun ex ko di ba... :D) The other one is supposedly a "chinese-sounding name" to go with my authentic chinese surname... "Michico" yata yun or something like that... Now if you ask me that's more like a japanese name... Awwww.. sana pala yan na lang to go with my turning japanese mode these days :D

But the winner is... Jeliene! :D Hahaha... Ayan. Guess where they actually got the name??? Do you know the dancer (yes the dancer, as in yun mga sumasayaw!) named "Geleen?" Honestly I don't know the correct spelling but it's completely different on how I spelled mine. Mama said that sounded nice so I think she asked somebody to re-spell. :P

Ever since I was old enough to understand words coming from somebody else's mouth, I've heard tons and I mean tons of different versions on how my name is pronounced... On how it's spelled? That's a completely different story, mas masaya yun :D

Now let me tell you the truth behind how my name is pronounced.

At home, the way they all call me is pronounced as "je-len." awww... parang bisaya di ba? Papa and one of my kuya always always refer to me as "Len." Now, mama... when she's irritated with me, will start calling me "je-le-ni."

When I was in third grade, I transferred schools. I was very timid back then (pramis, as in, maniwala ka na lang) so I remember distinctively this is where I started going by how I'm called today "je-lyn." You see my english teacher, Mrs Gonzales, was our homeroom teacher so she was the first person ever to read my name out loud that particular June morning. Hehehe. Out of fear or how ever you describe that knot in your guts during first day of classes in a new school, I couldn't help but agree when she called my name and said, "Je-lyn Siao. Did I pronounce your name right?" I swear I cringed when I heard that. But choosing to remain silent than correct her, I simply smiled and nodded. So there you go. :D

But I'm not done yet. Ahahaha.. :D

So I started answering to two different versions of my name. But for some reason, it grew old on me. I hardly recognized that it was the case. My ears adapted to the sound, though those two sound different. But the thing is, I still didn't have a nickname.

Then high school came. One day out of boredom, me and my friends started concocting names on how we'd call ourselves. Maricris became Macky, Eloisa became Aice, Joanne Paula became Chiosa, Faye became Nikki or Ynnie... and so on. They had me stuck at "Jhel" (at the time, kailangan may H talaga.. hehehe)

In college? I was plain "Je-lyn."

In my first work at Philam? I started going by San-chai... ahahha! :D (just kidding, though one of my office mates really did call me that when I started watching Meteor Garden.) The rest still called me "Je-lyn."

Now when I entered the call center at Sykes, my goodness... I started answering to different names... There's "siaoje," which is how I logged on my PC back then (user name ba?!). Some just decided to cut my name until the first syllable only and started calling me "Je." Others decided to include the next letter, thus, "Jel." Then everybody started calling everybody else "Ate" or "Teh." There are some more names that escape my memory now but it's either those or "Je-lyn."

Now when we started in Chase at Philam Tower and I met Jhopet he decided to make my name more fun and chic... So he started calling me "jels" and it caught on with some of my closest friends at the office now and frankly this is my favorite among all those other names! So since then when a new acquaintance will ask me for my nickname, I tell them "jels."

At least all those nicknames are actually derived from the original spelling of my name. Unlike some people I know... Jhopet from Ryan, Jason from Scepter and Tony from Carl...?! Ang layo, mehn!! :D

Now, on how my name is spelled... Ahahaa! just kidding! I didn't realize ang haba na pala ng blog na ito.

So I'm stopping here. :D

messages received

"If sum1 wants to really b w/ u,
they will. If they keep giving
reasons for Not calling, texting
or say they r extremely busy,

get the hint,

leave them alone."

-- text ni erin :))

**********

"Leave someone, you have that right. But the least you can do for them is to tell them why.
Because what's even worse, what's even more painful than being abandoned is knowing that you're not even worth an explanation." - Peter Parker

-- text pa rin ni erin :D

**********

"A Man...

no matter how loyal, kind, patient, sweet,
understanding, honest, loving, thoughtful
and close to perfect as he appears to be,

... will still hurt a girl in the most
painful way he could... keep that in mind."

-- text ni pierre :P

memories of a little sister

I have four brothers. Four. Three are older than me and one is younger. I grew up in a house with these rowdy boys. Just imagine what kind of a girl I'd turn up to be.

I have a lot of fond memories with them. My favorite is when I was a little girl (I'd say around six or seven) and my two elder brothers decided to play and they made their paper airplanes. I was busy brushing my barbie's hair at the time but all three of us were in our garage. Suddenly, one of them shouted, "kunwari nag ka-crash ang airplane!!!" So guess what their brilliant minds thought of? To make it more real, they decided to go get a match and lit the tail of their paper planes on fire and let the damn thing fly. Hahaha! It would have been funny to watch, only that the direction of those crashing airplanes went straight to my hair! I remember jumping up and down and screaming my head off while the two of them were just laughing hard at me. Of course I wasn't harmed and I ducked just in time. But just imagine how frightening it was for a six-year old in her pigtails. Looking back, I couldn't help but smile. Don't you just love those two devilish kids?!

Being the only girl in the family (okay, apart from my mom I mean) is a real treat! I mean, seriously, I was every body's princess. I couldn't remember a time when I'd shout "kuya, kuha mo ako ng tubeeeeg!!!" that they'd resist. I almost, almost, always, always get what I want. I'd always look for my brothers whenever I need something, I mean even the simple act of reaching out for things that I need, I'd ask them "Kuya, paabot nyan." (Even if I could've reached it if I even stretched a little more)

However, they aren't always that nice, of course. They have a tendency to tease me to death and even put up practical jokes at me. They love to gross me out with their manly mannerisms and table manners. And I am so used to being called "panget" as well. We've had our fights over petty things like who gets the last piece of the cake and who gets to seat in front of the car when papa's driving (I always win, of course).

So you see, I am so used to having guys around me. I can talk to any guy straight in the face and I can just comfortably bicker with guys, as I've learned from my brothers.

In college, my set of friends consisted of three girls and six guys (Kuya Froi, Rainard, Tristan, Big Paul, Nickson and Brian). When I started working, somehow I always seem to get close to a guy or guys. I remember being super close with Tantan that some started thinking we could be more than friends. But hello, I had a boyfriend at the time and I was just setting him up with Beth (see they are still together now.. hehe) Then there goes my relationship with the entire GTI team. Aaron, Andro, Ian, Sandy, Rene, Allan... And fairly recently, my transfer to RFS-IT that has a headcount of around 30, with just seven girls!

The reason I'm telling all these? I just want to say that just because a girl is comfortable in the company of guys and would sometimes prefer their company over girls doesn't mean that she is trying to get their attention romantically. I mean, come on, I'm not always in the market for a boyfriend. Okay, so what that I am single? It doesn't mean that I'm looking at every guy I come across to as a potential boyfriend. I just love their company, their being rowdy and their honest-to-goodness opinion on certain things. To be honest, I treat every guy I meet as I would my own brothers. Everyone is a kuya in my eyes.

I guess what I really want to stress out is that platonic friendship does exist. I can be friends with the opposite sex without any romantic notions. So you with the dirty mind, stop teasing me with the next guy you see that I'm talking to or bickering with.

It's just so normal for me.

Remember, I have four brothers.

stories of a battered heart

I heard another love story that ended in vain today. I commented to a friend on how guys can just mess up a girl's life. My friend said, "another addition to your list." When my friend said that, I was taken a back and then I realized at the back of my mind I do have a list of stories that one by one makes me lose faith in love. I used to be a hopeless romantic. I can dream and sigh all day thinking of happy thoughts on love and companionship. But now my views have totally changed and I can honestly say "Kalokohan lang ang umibig!"

Let me try and draw up that list and then convince me if getting into a relationship is still a smart move.

1. My story. beat that.

2. A girl fell in love with a guy who had a girlfriend. The stupid guy led the girl on and treated her like girlfriend as well. In short, what a two-timer fellow. The sad thing is they all work together and the two girls know each other and one can even call them friends. In a sad twist of events, the girl got pregnant only to find out that the real girlfriend is pregnant as well. Arrrrggghhhhhh!!!

3. Another girl who's been with her boyfriend for the longest time, I think 7 years, had her heart broken when she found out that the dumb guy impregnated another girl, whom he just met somewhere. Honto ni baka!!!

4. Another girl with the same story. This time, the guy impregnated his ex-girlfriend. Apparently they met again during a reunion and guess they did their own reunion session.

5. A girl is hopelessly in love with this guy, who is a womanizer and changes girlfriend as often as he changes his shirt. In an attempt to be free of this guy, she decided to cut all ties and move on. However, the prick of a guy still sought her with promises of being a changed man. So they started going out and the girl trusts the guy again... Though they did not become an item, there is an unspoken agreement that they are together. Good thing the girl then suddenly woke up and decided to just leave the guy and start a new life. But then out of homesickness, the girl suddenly called the guy to catch up, and he replied with a news and said "i just got married."

6. Another girl in love with a womanizer. But this time, the guy immediately promises of changing and promised that she's the only one. Only to find out that the stupid guy's parents are already planning a wedding for him and his other girlfriend. Apparently they are still together while he's promising to the other girl "you're the only one."

I could probably go on forever documenting these types of stories. When one enters into a relationship, she/he opens everything and becomes vulnerable that the other person can easily stomp and crush the other person's heart.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that only guys do these things to girls. I've heard of two stories from guys where they are so into the girl only to find out later on that the girl is also seeing somebody else.

So tell me, what prompts a person to enter into a relationship but later on leaves the other person broken into pieces?

And much more, what makes a person who's been broken beyond description to just suddenly open up and start trusting another person again?

Why bother falling in love at all when sooner or later you'll be left alone anyway?

thoughts of a thankful friend

It's 2:37 in the morning and yet my eyes, my thoughts and my fingers are wide awake and alert. Have to put these to work so here you go, my second blog entry for the day with no particular topic in mind. Let's see where my thoughts will go this time.

There has been a lot of changes in the past couple of weeks. Life is one grand roller coaster ride. Sometimes it moves too fast that we can no longer feel the wind that brushes against our face during the ride. To say that my life is indeed like this is an understatement. Since last year, I've had one too many adventures that will last me for a life time. It involves all aspect of my life - family, friends, career and of course that somewhat cursed love life. 

However, there is one thing that I can always turn to when the ride gets too tough. My high school barkada. If I am to write the happenings in our life, I'd be selling a series of books that would come at par with my childhood favorite book series - Sweet Valley High. Grabe sa mga plot ng buhay as in.

Sometimes it still amazes me on how far we've all gone. Literally, my best buddies are scattered all over the world. I have two friends in Dubai and Singapore; one in Italy, Australia, California and even Canada. Thanks to yahoogroup mail, yahoo messenger, friendster and multiply, we've never been so closed as how we are today. To think that I even considered giving up this lot to that one man who I thought will complete me... Naaaahhhh! Thanks that I woke up in time and they accepted me back with no questions ask.

Most of the albums in my site are with these group of people. I can never express how happy I am whenever I spend time with them. No matter how troubled each of us are sometimes, we always always find a reason to cheer each other up and end up with side stitches from laughing. Just a few hours ago, some of us engaged ourselves with a group chat via ym. 2 friends from Dubai, 1 in Italy, 1 in Singapore and 2 from Manila were logged in and were just chatting away. It's amazing how we could switch topics from serious matters of the heart to a really silly one-liners from John Lloyd movies. I wish I could show the world how we all take care of each other. We can say anything to each other without fear of being scorned, rejected nor hated. After all, we are true friends and no matter how truth hurts, it sounds different if it comes from your friend. Of course we've had our share of misunderstanding, mga tampo, irritations from each other, secrets that gets revealed easily... but at the end of the day, we are still the same old group that can smile readily in front of a camera.

So to my dearest friends, you know who you are, I am just so thankful.

Let's not get tired of sending emails, of chatting via ym, of commenting on each others kodak moments...

Let's not get tired of each other. Period. :)